Summer Scapes

Post 40’s, Post small kiddos, Pre-emergence

I think it is inherently built into the human genomes that once we allow that Summertime feeling in, it sways and saunters into our being and boom!…that deserved laziness piggy-backs right on top of all else. I allow it to take me over; breathe into the fibers of mind, bone and muscle because the sun is so damn alluring, and well, life and the daily toil can sometimes be monotonous, vexing, hormonal, and somewhat exhausting. I have been used to writing for this blog for the past few months and truly look forward to it. Yet with this summer time freedom comes family closer on the daily periphery. I am getting used to carving out my pieces of time for solo flight on this writing venture. But even if their presence isn’t felt, I do not want to even presume that I just write. When something is more of a need than a want (in this case writing), I can only hope that I will honor what I need to breathe a little bit lighter. Since clarity and truth are becoming a pretty cool thing to stand for lately, I just want to state where I am with this blog.

Everyone around me in Summer, from a clerk at BJ’s to a good friend will utter “It goes by so fast”. I am trying not to utter those words as by the mere mention will catapault the day from a trot to a sprint. All I know is that I’m finding more and more that pieces of true enjoyment come when I least expect it and from the simplest of things. It is true that when I plan said thing and experience it (a trip into the city, a concert, some outdoor adventure with one or both daughters), it feels really good. Hey, I’m “doing things” with my kids! (I never needed to state it in the past, but with their advancing ages (preteen and now an official 13 year old), times out of their sacred rooms and into the live, active world together are few and far between. But Summer whispers in everybody’s ear that this is the time to get groovy with each other! Also, there’s no damn homework and annoying tests to study for!) But here’s the thing, even watching how the 7:00 am light filters into my bedroom, dappling a whole wall, can be momentarily wonderful. A trip to the farmer’s market and having small talk with lovely people can light up my heart for a few hours afterwards. A stolen laugh with my husband or daughter after something unexpected…all delightful, life-affirming and as if, for the moment, my vessel is full. No need for anything more. No need for thoughts on where I am or where I’m going. A brain on the drug of Summer is soft, malleable and open to take on laziness, but hopefully open to take on the end of a cycle. It always feels as if September is the beginning of another of these self-made cycles, so Summer is the extravaganza before the yearly shift or change. I hate to put such analysis on this wubble bubble of the soft sweet lazy goo of Summer, but maybe declarations make it seem more purposeful within the non-purpose of it all. I’m not sure that makes sense, but right now it makes a whole lot of sense to me.

Much of this blog is dedicated to uplifting myself and hopefully to those reading it. Yet I feel that I need to mention that I have a younger sister that no one in my life really hears about. Debbie. She’s had a long, hard struggle of a life. Debbie never got a shot at this life the way my other sister and I did. Born with VCFS or Shprinten’s Syndrome, she’s missing the eleventh strand of her twenty-second chromosome. Whereas those with Down Syndrome have an extra strand, Debbie is missing one. She almost died when she was born, had to have openheart surgery as a toddler, has OCD, learning disabilities and has been on a myriad of drugs for her entire life. She’s always lived in a controlled environment; either watched over closely by counselors and doctors, or in a facility that oversees individuals with some sort of disability. She is simple in her thoughts, but then will surprise with quick wit or a humorous anecdote that you didn’t see coming. I won’t attempt to go into all of her maladies, only to say that she’s struggling in her life right now probably more than she ever has. Her condition has reached it’s apex. Not only is she struggling to breathe and has to constantly be hooked up to a breathing tube, but she has periods where she is psychotic and goes from a peaceful, simplistic state, to an aggressive and turbulent one. Her alter-ego she has dubbed “Deborah” and this persona will show up out of nowhere to torture Debbie by finding difficulties with everything around her and lately bring about fits of unrest that lead to hysterical screaming, little sleep and chagrin to any one who comes into her path. Dr. Shprintzen, who discovered VFCS, marks Debbie as one of the first to have this disease. So what her outcome is is unknown. However, there has been a drug that’s been made that is directly targeted to VFCS patients and my parents are presently in the throes of trying to get Debbie to take it (long and complicated and won’t go into it). We are all saddled with various situations, whether close or far from us. No one knows anyone else’s true afflictions or where anyone else may be truly coming from.

What’s good? If you feel you’d like a little shot of culture and don’t want to delve into the sweaty city, try Boscobel House and Gardens. In Garrison, NY, it is a historic house museum that is gloriously overlooking the Hudson River. Wow is it ever! It also houses the Hudson Valley Shakespeare festival. We paid for our Shakespeare (we saw “Cymbeline”) and were able to feast on the grounds, views, foods and eventually the Shakespeare (3 hours but well worth it!). They even provided as much bug spray as you like (although the bugs weren’t bad). The sun goes down and shines like crazy though on 1/4 of the audience. I was lucky not to have booked on that side, but it’s something worth avoiding. Book of The Moment: Just got finished with City Of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert (so much fun!) and now about to start A Gentleman In Moscow By Amor Towles that I’ve heard great things about.